Dear Mom and Dad,
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| It's a stag beetle!! |
Have you ever had one of those days, where when you
stop to look back on it, you just sort of go, “Huh?” “Did I really just experience that!?”
As if you couldn’t guess already, yes, I had one of those days. It started out normal. I woke up.
From there the day just
started to spiral into something that resembles one of my weirder surrealistic
dreams. If I didn’t know better, I would
have thought that I was actually stuck in the land of Nod.
I wake
up. Get ready for the day. Everything
normal, so far. There is a typhoon expected today. Lots of rain, lots of wind. Grab my taxi, while holding my umbrella
down. (It likes to flip in the wind.)
I get
to school. The kids have exams, no biggie. I scrambled to find my coordinating teacher
to get my proctoring schedule. He shows up five minutes before the first
bell rings. Meanwhile I have just gotten
the schedule from the only other slightly English speaking teacher in the
teachers’ room. I have an exam to assist
in proctoring first period. I race to
the classroom. It’s a first year class
that I haven’t been to yet.
The students see me come in and there is a
collective, “Whoa!!” and a few
courageous “Hello! Hello!” ‘s. And one
or two “Hello, how are you, I’m fine thank you” ’s and a couple of “Nice to meet you!” ‘s before
the exam starts. Mostly I just stand in
the back of the room and pretend to watch for cheating. Mostly I’m just daydreaming about when I can
sit down and catch my breath. Once in a
while, I get to replace a student’s test card and pretend that I’m actually
doing something useful. Even with 36
students on a class, this doesn’t happen as often as you’d think. Or as you’d like, if you’re bored…
Second
period I have a break, then third and fourth period I have first years and
third years to help proctor. Once again,
I have been in neither of these classes, and know pretty much none of the
students. One of the first years kept
repeating “Hello, teacher.” “Hello, hello, hello.” It was, well, not
irritating, but a little exasperating after the second “Hello”. Since I was passing out tests at the time, I
mostly ignored it since I wasn’t all that close to the kid. But, it annoyed the co-teacher enough that
she snapped at him. “그만!” (Stop
that!) Several of the boys kept
turning around before they got their test cards. Then the third years: the boy in the front, (and by in the front, he was close enough to almost touch the board)
kept peering up at me. It was
distracting enough that I didn’t really notice if others were, or not. This is why I stand in the back of the
classroom during exams…
Even still, all of this is not so unusual. But the day before, I got conned by my
co-teacher into joining in on a “field trip for the second years.” Thinking that I had to join my second year
students on a field trip, I was not exactly looking forward to this trip. We were supposed to leave at 1:00. But 1:00 comes and I’m surrounded by a group
of teachers and all of the students have left the building. Exams days are half days…
It slowly dawns on me; it is a field trip all right. But not for the second year students. It is a field trip for the second year teachers! And on top of that the bus was an hour
late. So I am standing in a group of
teachers just going with the flow! The
anticipation is running high in my co-workers.
High spirits and a couple of goofballs, from what I can tell. Comedians here are called gagmen. I am taught this word in connection with one
co-worker in particular later in the day.
It was already rather apparent.
He was also armed with a camera… This should have been a clue.
Finally the bus arrives. Might I mention that there is a typhoon this
day? We are headed to a place a little
over an hour away, called Boryeong Dam.
I was under the initial impression from the previous day that we would
be heading to a coal museum in that area (oh,
joy. But ok!) Well, no. That didn’t happen. We headed to Boryeong Dam. An hour later loaded with more snacks than I
eat in a month, and one smart phone conversation with the art teacher later (I did manage to get an invite to her
housewarming party. When it’s finally
built.) we made it to Boryeong Dam, and as we round the corner to a rather
impressive view of a medium size dam, and the rock stairs built into the hill
side across the river, we pass a large sign that says “No Photography”.
Well, the bus climbs the hill to the top of the
dam and we all pile out. A few head to
the bathrooms, and the rest of us amble over check out the view. But our appreciation of the scenery is cut
short, by a coordinated attempt at gathering everyone together in front of the
carved rock sign that says in Korean “Boryeong Dam” (I could actually read it, yay!)
We quickly had our pictures taken, without umbrellas. (May I
say once again, there was a typhoon??)
Well, we spend less than five
minutes (I checked.) before we pile
right back onto the bus…
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| Moderate Statuary |
Seriously!?
I thought we were going to spend at least a few more minutes there! We drove an hour and fifteen minutes to get
to the dam and we took one picture and that was it!? We were there for so short of a time, that I
didn’t even have a chance to dig out my camera…
Well, then we head off and eventually pull into
a strange little museum parking lot.
Lots of rock carvings, and baby deer on leashes; a few carvings of the blushful sort. There was a continuation of the theme in the
main lobby. There were a grand total of
three rooms in the museum. I spend most
of my time in the side room. Of course
the somewhat riske artwork was in the entrance, and again we have to get our
pictures taken. In front the riske-est
of them all. As the only foreigner in
the group, I am given special attention
throughout the entire trip, especially in the joining of photo groups. No hiding in the back for me. “Oh no.
영어선생님come up front please.” (Yeongeo sungseangnim –English teacher)
We were there less than ten minutes.
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| Following the-well not leader, but the next best thing |
Again, this was not the highlight of the day,
yet. We pile back into the bus. And drive 100 meters across the parking lot.
We pile back out. (There’s still a typhoon…)
And visit an indoor garden park.
But not in a leisurely stroll type of fashion. Oh no! We march through that park as if we were being
chased by rabid dogs. By this time, I
have finally gotten to my camera. I try
taking some pictures, but we were going so quickly many of them were a blur…
Sorry! We march right back out (after having been attacked by a neck swiping
herbalist along the way. Whatever it was,
it was cold and smelled like Eucalyptus.)We get to the entrance and there I
see a rather interesting truck shaped like a hippy stag beetle that quickly drives
off before I can get a really good picture of it. Once again the theme of my photos is “The
Blur.”
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| A picture that's not blurry! |
Well, whatever it is that we raced through the
garden for, apparently isn’t ready so we head back in for another 20
minutes. By this time, I am so tired of
going through the garden that I just wait at the entrance with a group of the
younger teachers. All along this trip I
just follow in the wake of whatever teacher I recognize and pretend like I know
what is going on. I really don’t… I’m still figuring it out /(o ^~^o)
Apparently, by the time the rest of the
teachers get back from their second speedy perusal of the gardens, and after I
am cheerfully required to give the names of such things as “bleeding hearts”, “carp
and catfish”, “tangerine tree” ,“Rosemary, mint, and geranium”, we are finally
ready to go. I am glad to get back on
the bus.
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| The hippy stage beetle. Better springs and it will actually be cute! |
But wait!
We’re not getting on the bus! We’re
getting on that strange little vehicle that drove off earlier before I could
get a good picture of it. Once again, I fail
to get a good picture of it. But that is
because I am suddenly on this green hippy stag beetle truck with 24 co-teachers
and a small group of elderly men with their caretaker. Abruptly, I find myself bouncing on a dirt
road, through a statuary park, in a typhoon, in a hippy stag beetle. Oh, yeah!
Luckily, most of the statuary this time is of
the rather ordinary kind. There is only
so must riske-ness I can take in the presence of co-workers that I really don’t
know well (or even if I do. ) This
time, the statuary is mostly Korean quotes, and carvings of preserved Korean cultural
songs.
Oh, and
then there was the random ancient Chinese military obstacle course and the two
ostriches and the non-responsive pony.
By then my mental faculties were shutting down.
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| Dinner # 1. |
Eventually, we find ourselves back at the bus,
although this time I am escorted to one of the teacher’s cars and driven to the
restaurant reserved for all of us. We
have tofu (두부-dubu) with octopus, crab legs, mushrooms and clams. We eat quickly, and apparently we are
actually on a schedule because my one co-teacher tries to round everyone up
before they have actually finished eating.
We find ourselves back on the bus-again- and on our way back to school.
This is when they broke out the norae-bang features
of the bus. They turn off the lights and
turn on the colored lights, passing the microphone around and begin to
sing. There was a variety of songs and
some of the most dignified of teachers broke out in enthusiastic song and dance…
I carefully declined the offer at the
very beginning, and nobody missed my singing at all.
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| Bus norae-bang |
Eventually we make it back a little after 7:30
in the evening. I am actually supposed
to have dinner at 7:30 with friends for Diner’s Club across town, so I have to
decline the offer of a ride home by my co-teacher. I grab a cab at 7:45 and the trip that is supposed
to take 20 minutes takes a little less than 10.
I must have grabbed the fasted taxi in town *sigh* But I get there before 8:00! I wander in- and I must have frightened my
poor friends.
“What’s
wrong!?!? Are you ok!?”
“~~~Yeeaa~~haha….I think so…~~~” It is samgyeopsal, one of my favorites, but I
can’t eat much. I was already too full!
