Monday, December 16, 2013

A lesson in humility. Or humor.



Dear Mom and Dad,

Well, more for mom and less for dad.  Sorry dad, this may be a topic you are not very interested in.  It’s more for the ladies…

I love going shopping.   And I live in a town that is fortunate enough (read: big enough) to have one of every major department store.  Just one is enough.  I don’t need to remember neighborhoods when asking for Home Plus, or getting confused about which Lotte Mart someone wants to meet at.  But that’s not the story today.  Today's story is a little more personal.

I was shopping for personal feminine hygiene products.  And of course this is Korea, the land of the helpful sales clerk.  There are two main types of sales clerks, when facing foreigners.  The first and most common is the shy “I see you, but I’m afraid to ask you anything.”  They usually smile and keep standing there until you approach them.  Usually these tend to be younger women.  The older women sales clerks, which are closer to the ajumma age range, have the ajumma mentality.  A little abrupt and sometimes overly helpful in a “This is my way, so it’s going to be your way, too.”  I once bought a roll of paper towels because an older sales women stuck it in my basket for me.  I’m not sure why, she was selling mini packaged sausages…

Well like I said, I was shopping for personal hygiene materials, which is not as easy as it sounds in a foreign language.  Luckily most products have some kind of picture on them and you can figure things out from there.  There is some trial and error involved in that, like the one time I thought I was buying travel tissue…  My first visit to a restroom without toilet paper proved me wrong.  "Ooooh-hhooo, Nooo!

Well this time I was in Home Plus, my personal favorite for buying the occasional western food brands that are marginally less expensive than other conveniently nearby options.  I don’t like traveling long distances for groceries, especially without a car.  I can’t cook Korean food very well, and from some of my practice results, probably shouldn’t try until I take some lessons!

Anyway back to the story.  Personal Hygiene aisle in Home Plus.  Not my favorite aisle to be in, especially when the store is busy.  This time there were not one, not two, but three clerks in the aisle.  The first one was the shy one, the third one was at the other end, and the middle one…Oh, the middle one was right where I wanted to be!  Alas, and alack! Woe is me, I want to pick my things and be gone!  I know, generally, what I want, but I think I must’ve spent 5 seconds too long in choosing.  I couldn’t find my usual brand, hence the hesitation. 

Sales clerk approaches, and in Korean says what I guessed was “Can I help you?” I said “No, I’m all right!”  She stayed however and saw what I was studying.  She reached over to a handy-dandy visual guide to products and brands.  On a large card were actual samples of products.  Kinda handy!  The first set of cards was of the normal kinds you find in Korea.  These are usually very thin and practically useless.  I wanted something a little sturdier, so I looked at the next card she very sincerely handed me from where I have no idea.

I cannot describe the unique mixture of nervous astonishment and humor, horror and embarrassment, amazement and wonder, at such an object placed before me and with such concern.  Maybe, it was because I was expecting the next card to be a logical upgrade; slightly thicker, but still the same product. The ‘enormity’ of the situation was perplexing, and although I understand the need for such products and it is a serious thing for some people, the products she handed me were not for that particular serious condition.  This was completely a woman’s product.  And the American nickel glued to the first one, I could not understand the purpose of at all.  The nickel wasn’t used to compare anything; there was nothing it COULD be compared to. It was just there...

There was no logical size gradient, just thin but normal.........and massive!  I don’t think there would be room left for the person wearing them… 

Anyway, I quickly chose the first package I could reach that looked similar to my normal brand, and left.  When I finally opened it, there was a seriously suspicious whiff of curry, before I had a truly vivid flashback to my travel tissue issue…  “Ohhh-hhhoooo, Nooooo!!!!” 



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